"A Survival Course for The Sandwich Generation. Carol Abaya Learned the Hard Way What It's Like to Care for Elderly Parents. She Wants to Make It Easier for Others."
It's not easy to become elderly or a parent to your parent(s). After all, our society "says" adults should be able to take care of themselves. But, as more live well into their 80s and 90s and families are dispersed across the country, everyone is going to be involved somehow, some way, in elder care. If not today, then tomorrow.
This site is dedicated to providing information and in depth material covering a number of key areas, all important in elder care -- from aging in general to legal, medical and financial issues. All the content is offered to make your involvement in the issues of the Sandwich Generation a little easier.
those sandwiched between aging parents who need care and/or help
and their own children.
Sandwich: those in their 50s or 60s, sandwiched between
aging parents, adult children and grandchildren. OR Those in their
30s and 40s, with young children, aging parents and grandparents.
(Term coined by Carol Abaya)
Faced: anyone else involved in elder care.
(Term coined by Carol Abaya)
More than 25% of American families are involved in some way
with elder/parent care. So, if you are, know you are not alone.
The challenges of this new responsibility cannot
be simply identified nor are they easy to fulfill.
I became involved -- very suddenly -- in
my parents daily care and life more than 10 years ago. My mother
was 85 at the time and my father 90. The family was completely
unprepared to deal with the legal, financial and emotional issues.
There was little information to guide me. Little to help me deal
with my roller coaster emotions. Little to help me deal with sandwich
generation role reversal scenarios. Or having to make decisions
for my very independent parents.
Since then I've developed what many feel is a
unique understanding of the diverse elements in our changing and
aging society and the needs of sandwich generationers and the
The headlines in a New York Times article says it best: "A Survival
Course for The Sandwich Generation. Carol Abaya Learned the Hard
Way What It's Like to Care for Elderly Parents. She Wants to Make
It Easier for Others."
This, in a nutshell, is my objective. It's not
easy to become elderly or a parent to your parent(s). After all,
our society "says" adults should be able to take care
of themselves. But, as more live well into their 80s and 90s and
families are dispersed across the country, everyone is going to
be involved somehow, some way, in elder care. If not today, then
Consequently information presented here covers
a number of key areas, all important in elder care -- from aging
in general to legal, medical and financial issues. Emotional issues
are emphasized. After all, when all is said and done, emotions
-- of the caregiver and the care recipient -- dominate all relationships
and family dynamics.
The site is completely secure and is structured
Special Features: In depth
material, covering the gamut of subjects relevant to elder care.
(Reprinted from The Sandwich Generation® Magazine)
Questions and Answers: Material
from my weekly syndicated columns which deal with real life problems.
Conversations With Carol:
Scripts from a special pilot audio series.
Sandwich Generation® site is TIPS and
sharing oriented, we would like to hear from you -- your concerns,
your own experiences and TIPS that can help others.
Just do remember:
is no one right way or wrong way to "do" elder/parent care.
situation and relationship is different.
is no magic wand to make a tough situation better.
If I can
help you in any way as you travel this new -- sometimes joyous, but
sometimes arduous road, you can email me at : firstname.lastname@example.org
or write me at PO Box 132, Wickatunk, NJ 07765-0132, USA
Abaya, M.A., is a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist and
is recognized as an expert on the sandwich generation, aging and
elder/parent care issues. Her weekly, syndicated column, The
, appears in newspapers across the
Abaya has been featured in The New York Times, the Wall Street Journal,
Kiplinger’s Retirement Report, and New Choices magazine. She has appeared
on The Phil Donahue Show, NBC Nightly News, Ernie Anastas’ Talk Show, CNN and
FNN. She has been honored by the U.S. Department of Labor’s Women’s Bureau,
New Choices Magazine, the New Jersey State Legislature and the Monmouth
County Council on the Status of Women for her work with aging issues. She served on an AARP panel of experts,
when AARP released a critical multi-cultural study on baby boomers and
material is copyrighted by Carol Abaya Associates and cannot
be reproduced in any manner, print or electronically.